This week my experience observing, and overhearing, in part, a soldier was moving and sad. Although we exchanged no words, I sat at an outdoor table having a brew while he sat about 150 feet away by himself at another table. He kept a bottle of pinkish wine and glass, a salad and a big, hot sandwich in front of him. The soldier (think I heard "black beret") took an extraordinary amount of time to begin consuming food and drink. He talked audibly but not understandably all through the time I was there. He did actually eat a little at a time with long pauses.
The man is very large in size, gray haired on long side, mentioned to someone German, Polish. No idea of the reference other than possible use of both languages.
Why so tragic? Learned from proprietor he fought in two wars. (Vietnam and Iraq) The remnants of the whole man are only that: remnants. He continually carried on a dialogue producing tears from himself, wiping his eyes, wiping his hands on his clothing. The fourth day I saw the same scene, always near 5:oo p.m. The fifth day I decided to avoid the establishment in early evening. I was moved at the damage to one individual active combat. The soldier is no threat to anyone -- that is clear -- except himself from the ravages of war, now in his own personal war.
The first time he appeared, his iron gray hair was unkept -- grimy -- tangled. The second evening his hair was combed -- otherwise no change. The last evening his hair was clean, combed, and his clothes looked fresh.
We acknowledged on another's presence with tacit nods. His face has black areas above the cheeks and on the forehead - also very dark circles on this caucasian soldier's face.
The experience described above brings to mind that a collosal number of soldiers may actually go through symbolic erasure of their ego. From my view (not new) this first hand experience clarifies the ineffectiveness of war to individuals. \
Why the hell don't we fight and sweat and spend collosal investments on relations and relationships of world leadership before spending far more fighting physically with sophisticated missiles, guns, soldiers, et. al. to no good end. Talk not to make gestures at coming to an understanding, but converse to reach reliable compromise and understanding requiring TRUST.
Sacrificed worldwide are villages, towns, cities, countryside; children, family structure, wholeness of a body and mind, whether civilian or soldier. The increased cost is almost insurmountable when we attempt to put everything, especially humans, back together in some satisfactory way. Doubtful that it will ever be wholly satisfactory.
It strickens me enough to write... it's too painful to go to the cafe again in the evening. And, I am not a part of any of that real life horror.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)